Thog's Masterclass

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Thog's Masterclass. Classic Crab Moments. 'What a beautiful night ... If only we didn't have to worry about giant crabs!' 'Every so often he felt the striking claws missing him by inches.' 'There's a colossal crab which leads them. I've named him King Crab.' 'The big crab shambled forward ... His revolting features appeared to crease into a lusting grin.' 'The giant crabs had grossly mistimed their attack on the Blue Ocean Holiday Camp.' 'The crabs were spoiling everybody's holiday....' (Guy N. Smith, Night of the Crabs, 1976)

Love Among the Crabs. 'She reached down and fondled him, her fingers demonstrating their expertise even on a morning following a night which had seen one of the most terrifying battles in history.' (Guy N. Smith, Killer Crabs, 1978) [SS]

Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc Dept. 'Laura ran her fingers through her hair and raised her breasts.' (Robert Rankin, The Suburban Book of the Dead, 1992) [JC]

The Smile That Wins. 'He smiled at me coldly, and the rotten stains on his teeth stood out like the craters of the moon.' (Norman Kagan, 'Four Brands of Impossible', September 1964 F&SF) [BA]

More True Romance. 'He flung himself on her and embraced her enthusiastically and she clung to him in return, her famous breasts squashed against his chest, her hair, scented like some tropical fruit, tickling his nose so that he had to smooth it down....' (K.K. Beck, Revenge of Kali-Ra, 1999) [BA]

She Sleeps with the Fishes Dept. 'As children Princes William and Harry fed the koi with their mother, Diana, Princess of Wales.' (The Times, 16 December) [PE]

(Ansible 367)